


i wish i was her.

by eviesthirlwzll



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F, dont worry it's mevie pls SHDHSDHS, listen to heather by conan gray istg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24681985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eviesthirlwzll/pseuds/eviesthirlwzll
Summary: Brighter than a blue sky, she's got you mesmerize while I die.
Relationships: Ben/Mal (Disney: Descendants), Evie/Mal (Disney)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 52





	i wish i was her.

**_I still remember, third of December, me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you._ **

He laughs, tipping his head back as he walks back on campus, one of his hand inside his pocket and the other holding her hand. Mal's hand. His girlfriend's. The absolute love of his life. "Come on, it's not even that funny." She chuckles, swinging their hands back and forth as they enter the school. 

Mal lets go of his hand for a bit and he took that moment to stop, put on Mal's oversized sweater on himself so he could have more freedom to move instead of lugging it around on his shoulder, she raises an eyebrow. "You do know that I stole that from Jay, right?" She asks, crossing her arms and tilting her head as he shrugs, "It's nice. It's refreshing to see me wear anything other than blue."

"I'm not even going to lie, you look better in that than I do." She replies, smiling up at him as he grins back at her, "Yeah? Do I keep it?" He jokes, lacing their hands back together as she taps her chin, "Let's act like I won't steal that back from you, yeah?"

**_Only if you knew how much I liked you._ **

He can't stop staring at her. There was just something about Mal that pulls him in. There was something about her look that sends his heart soaring to the skies with a fraction of a second. She was the most perfect human being in the world to him. 

And he wants to tell her, he wants her to know what he actually feels but the fear of scaring her, most especially with all the pressure she's had in the past few weeks from all the buzz around cotillion. He loved her, he just didn't want to tell her. 

And it hurts him, in some ways, because he knows that Mal loving him back might be a long shot. Mal loving him would be next to them turning good. It's possible, but it isn't that likely. You can't just convince someone to love you. 

"Hey, what are you staring at?" She asks, a little glumly as they take a seat on one of the couches littered around campus, he could only shrug, "It's nothing." He replies, wanting to tell her what really was on his mind. He admired all of her features until he saw her eyes drift from her phone to somewhere else. Or, in this case, someone else. 

**_But I watch your eyes, as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes._ **

He watches Mal as she takes her sight away from her phone and on to Evie, walking by with a huge smile on her face as she talked with Jane and Lonnie, holding their bags and their books close to their chests as they probably headed to the library or the quad. 

And while he knew the two were close, there was this feeling inside of him where he's telling himself that Evie was a threat to them, somehow. It was selfish, he knew that, but while he wanted to block out all those thoughts and feelings, it would always creep back into his mind. 

It shouldn't hurt him, it shouldn't have affected him in such ways but, seeing Mal look at Evie with much more admiration, with that glint in her eyes even if she just sees her for a damned second. It hurts him to know that sometimes, she'll look at her more than she'll look at him. More than she'll look at anyone else. 

**_Brighter than a blue sky, she's got you mesmerized while I die._ **

That wasn't the only instance where she was caught up in a trance and not by him but by the blue haired girl. He sits on the bench, tapping out for a while and sending Carlos in the field as the game continues, he looks back up at where Lonnie and Mal should be, they were there, and, she was smiling at his direction, so, right from his instincts, he smiles back. 

That was until he realizes that it wasn't exactly him she was looking at but instead the blue haired girl who was donning the uniform of the Auradon cheer squad, smiling right back at Mal as she did their routine perfectly.

His heart breaks as he stares down on the ground because the moment he looks back at Mal, she still doesn't notice him. She was still mesmerized by the enchantress dancing in front of them. She was so mesmerized by her that she doesn't even realize he's slowly falling apart as he struggles to admit to himself that Mal can't look at him the same way she looks at Evie. And, what hurts more was knowing that if she can't even look at him the same way, let alone feel the same way. 

_**Y** _ _**ou gave her your sweater. It's just polyester, but you like her better.** _

Three knocks on the wooden door and he was ready to slam his head on the table. Mostly because of how much he fucked up today. First, he was late to his council meeting, second, the amount of paperwork he was given and lastly, he and Mal had a fight.

"It's open." He mumbles, loud enough for the other person on the other side to hear. He doesn't look up until he saw a blue skirt and the familiar sweater Mal usually wore fitting Evie perfectly. He remembers the day she took it back because she, "needs," it. He questions her about it, he finally got the answer.

"Evie," He says bluntly, staring at her as he leans back on his seat, she can only sigh and chew on her lip as she hands him his ring, wrapped in paper. "She left the note for me, but, I guess you'd understand if you've read it." She says apologetically, letting Ben read over the contents of the note as she stood there. 

His heart just sinks at every word, and it's not because of her leaving and breaking up with him, it's because of how she apologized to Evie with so much care, how she let her heart talk when it came to her but only said, "tell him I'm sorry," to him. 

He stares at Evie one last time, "If I had to go back to the Isle to take her back, if I had to face my mother one more time, I would gladly do so. I just want her back." She pleads, grabbing his hands with her sweater clad ones. 

He could only nod as he silently accepts the fact that Mal would never like him as much as Evie. 

**_Watch as she stands with her holding your hand, put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder._ **

Mal leans on the railing of the boat, watching the Isle of the Lost from where she was, from where she belonged. She had just fought Uma, turned to a dragon and now, the lady of the court. She sighs, closing her eyes and dropping her head when she feels someone take her hand.

"You alright?" The very familiar and comforting voice of Evie asks as she holds Mal's hand tight, she nods, "Never been better." She grins, leaning her head on the blue head girl's shoulder as they stared at the Isle together. 

That was until she felt Evie shivering, with the sheer fabric of her dress and the fact that they all got wet from the sea water didn't really help, so, she moves, putting her arm around Evie's shoulder, "You seem cold." She chuckles, pulling her closer as Evie shakes her head, "You do know that if I get sick you'll get sick too, right?"

"Then we can stay in at our dorm room and watch those stupid romcoms you want." She retorts, succeeding in making the blue haired princess smile as they watched the stars together. He frowns, watching them from the other end of the boat, feeling lonely and cold as he leans on the rails. 

**_But how could I hate her? She's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead._ **

He shakes his head, removing his crown from his wet mop of hair as he walks towards the seats, sitting down and closing his eyes as he hears Evie laughing with Mal grinning beside her. It hurts, a lot, knowing it could've been him laughing with her, that it could've been him holding her hand but, he wasn't the one doing it. 

And he wanted to hate Evie so bad, he wanted to scream at her, wanted to pull her away from Mal but he can't because while all he did was made Mal smile, it was Evie who made her grin, who made her laugh, who made her feel like it's even worth it to stay back, to return to Auradon. It was Evie who made her want to go back. It wasn't him, it was _her_. 

Call it selfish, call him evil, but there were days he wished he never got her off of the Isle, there were days he wished he never decided to bring the daughter of the Evil Queen in Auradon purely for the fact that she had taken Mal away from him. 

**_As she walks by, what a sight for sore eyes._ **

Mal leans her head on the wall, clearly exasperated now that she had argued with him once more. She hated it, you know? Having to defend herself, having to make sure he would still trust her when she did her best to make sure he doesn't get distant. 

But, that was what they were the past few days. They were distant, they weren't the same. Everything changed after cotillion even if they refused to believe it. They weren't talking, they were just arguing. 

She sits on the cafe inside the school, swirling her cup of coffee when she sees her, when she sees the only thing that's keeping her sane from all the things she's experiencing. The only thing that was capable of making her feel again. 

**_Brighter than a blue sky, she's got you mesmerized._ **

She notices how Evie's smile has turned bigger and brighter the moment they locked eyes, the moment they see each other and Mal couldn't help herself but reciprocate, waving at her from the window as she shakes her head, walking towards the cafe and placing herself beside the fairy. 

It was weird to Mal, you know? It was weird that she's feeling more things with Evie rather than him. That her heart races faster whenever she sees the bluenette and not the King. It was weird that she can easily say, think and show that she loves her but not to him. 

And it was weird because it was Evie who got her mesmerized, it was Evie she wants to stare at, it was Evie's hand she wanted to hold, it was Evie, now that it clicks, she wasn't falling out of love with Ben, she simply was just falling in love with someone else. 

**_Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half, as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, but you like her better. I wish I was her._ **

"We're not working anymore." He says to himself in the mirror, already practicing whatever he would say to the girl outside his office, waiting for him. He shakes his head, wishing that he won't break down as he takes a deep breath and get out. 

He steps outside, facing her as she worriedly paces back and forth across his office, he raises an eyebrow, "Mal, are you okay?" He asks silently, hoping he wouldn't startle her as she stops, facing him and kissing his cheek immediately, "Look, Ben, I'm sorry, but I got to go. This isn't the best way to tell you this but, thanks for being my boyfriend for a while." She hurriedly says, without warning, just, leaving him all alone there as she rushes out of the room. 

He doesn't say anything, he doesn't do anything, he just stays there, frozen, doubting himself to why Mal would even kiss him, despite it being on the cheek, when he wasn't Evie. 

**_I wish I was her._ **

And that's what he thinks of, the moment he closes his journal. It's been exactly seven weeks since that encounter and it still hurts. He hasn't seen Mal or Evie around, if he does, they aren't together, which, was weird. 

But that ends now. He peeks out from his window, to see Mal and Evie sat on the quad, looking at the stars as Mal pulls Evie close to her chest. Kissing her softly from what he's seeing. 

It hurts for him, a lot, knowing that she's fallen out of love for him. But that doesn't matter entirely now, knowing she has someone else she could call her one true love. 


End file.
